Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy ******** to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S.
If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not,
please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Also………..
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard,with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.
Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.
How to fix the Economy
Some excellent ideas unsigned but whilst agree that we have been complicit in funding bankers' parties by privatising the gains and nationalising the debt, I see some flaws in your suggestions that require further consideration prior to implimentation:
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire - I'm affraid it goes against the EU human rights directive and we cannot force anyone to retire even if its in the national interest.
2) They MUST buy a new British car - this seemed to cease to exit long time ago and has taken over by the Germans and Japanese, what the hell even Koreans are better at it than we are.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - I'm affraid that convulated and unnecessary planning regulations mean that they won't be able to buy any house at current price so people will just end up paying off their mortgage which I'm sure will fuel further bankers' parties which you don't want.
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Forcing kids to college/university will only help either the drug industry or al-queda recruitment and will do nothing to improve education standard
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week - NHS budget is already astronomical as it is and will require further increase at the expense of other essential services
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy ******** to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down - Totally agree withi this proposal.
Whilst I agree with some of your proposal I'm afraid I will have to agree with you initially but back-track at any sign of oppossition from within or without.
Yours faithfully,
pps David Cameron
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire - I'm affraid it goes against the EU human rights directive and we cannot force anyone to retire even if its in the national interest.
2) They MUST buy a new British car - this seemed to cease to exit long time ago and has taken over by the Germans and Japanese, what the hell even Koreans are better at it than we are.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - I'm affraid that convulated and unnecessary planning regulations mean that they won't be able to buy any house at current price so people will just end up paying off their mortgage which I'm sure will fuel further bankers' parties which you don't want.
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Forcing kids to college/university will only help either the drug industry or al-queda recruitment and will do nothing to improve education standard
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week - NHS budget is already astronomical as it is and will require further increase at the expense of other essential services
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy ******** to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down - Totally agree withi this proposal.
Whilst I agree with some of your proposal I'm afraid I will have to agree with you initially but back-track at any sign of oppossition from within or without.
Yours faithfully,
pps David Cameron