What's Your Stress Relief for a Nasty Bad Trade
-
JollyGreen
- Posts: 2046
- Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:06 am
I tried to cover this is some of the "Mindset" posts. Walking away or other actions to remove you from smashing things are fine, this is known as separation. However they will not help you long term, for this you need to recognise the danger signs and learn to avoid letting them flip you into meltdown.
Please don't think I am being patronising but this is actually quite easy to deal with if YOU want to deal with it. As I said I am not suggesting you do not want to deal with it rather I am trying to say it can be done if you follow the correct methods.
A lot of people put anger and annoyance in the same category and this where solving anger issues falls down. They are separate things and must be dealt with accordingly. Separation removes you from the situation and hopefully prevents you from moving from annoyance into anger. If you don't deal with what makes you annoyed then it will keep occurring and soon you'll move into anger. That could be costly if you smash your laptop and it won't solve anything for you.
We all have a threshold and we all get grumpy for different reasons. You need to find what makes you annoyed when trading. Is it something stupid you have done, perhaps it was a large order that ruined your position? When you know what it is you can be prepared to respond to the situation. You will notice I said respond and not REACT. Too many people react and this generally means they do so without thinking. So you need to learn what pushes your buttons and then learn to respond and accept it. This can be hard but once you realise what pushes your buttons and that getting annoyed and eventually angry doesn't actually help.
If you don't find what pushes your buttons then you will always get angry despite separation because your brain will fall into "flight or fight" mode.
Go on Amazon and look for books on Mindset, Anger Management etc. This is a good one Overcoming Anger and Irritability If you want some more recommendations then please ask.
JG
Please don't think I am being patronising but this is actually quite easy to deal with if YOU want to deal with it. As I said I am not suggesting you do not want to deal with it rather I am trying to say it can be done if you follow the correct methods.
A lot of people put anger and annoyance in the same category and this where solving anger issues falls down. They are separate things and must be dealt with accordingly. Separation removes you from the situation and hopefully prevents you from moving from annoyance into anger. If you don't deal with what makes you annoyed then it will keep occurring and soon you'll move into anger. That could be costly if you smash your laptop and it won't solve anything for you.
We all have a threshold and we all get grumpy for different reasons. You need to find what makes you annoyed when trading. Is it something stupid you have done, perhaps it was a large order that ruined your position? When you know what it is you can be prepared to respond to the situation. You will notice I said respond and not REACT. Too many people react and this generally means they do so without thinking. So you need to learn what pushes your buttons and then learn to respond and accept it. This can be hard but once you realise what pushes your buttons and that getting annoyed and eventually angry doesn't actually help.
If you don't find what pushes your buttons then you will always get angry despite separation because your brain will fall into "flight or fight" mode.
Go on Amazon and look for books on Mindset, Anger Management etc. This is a good one Overcoming Anger and Irritability If you want some more recommendations then please ask.
JG
Well after a really poor weekend of "trading" (after a reasonably couple of weeks) I have come to the conclusion that I am a MUG PUNTER!!
Its time to face facts - I will never make money out of trading BF. I am in my forties so age is no excuse, and I have been at it for four and a half years, I have done the course with Peter - Great! but came back over confident and lost my bank within two weeks. Stopped - re charged my bank and started again - some wins but the losses always are always too great to sustain long term. I must have done this six/seven times over the four years, putting in £300 - £500 each time and buying the BA software, but failure upon failure - the short term pleasure of a small up trade followed by one or two poor selections, exit strategies that don't work and this weekend has drawn me to come to the above conclusion. MUG PUNTER AM I - It is no-one else's fault. It's all mine - 100%. I am not complaining.
The thing is, the good guys on here always make it look too easy and I sit at my PC thinking - I can do that - But I can't and I suspect most of the forum users are the same, but can't yet admit it.
Perhaps I don't have the self discipline, time, knowledge, understanding etc that everyone talks of needing. Perhaps, no I am sure, I think that I am better than I am - So I am a mug punter and I am out of Betfair /Betangel - for good. BF are £1500 better off but my stress relief is to STOP.
If you are losing too much and its causing you pain - perhaps you also need to stop - Do what I have dome and ask yourself - Is the pain really worth it?
Probably better to go the pub, a walk etc in the first place than waste you time and money at the computer.
Its time to face facts - I will never make money out of trading BF. I am in my forties so age is no excuse, and I have been at it for four and a half years, I have done the course with Peter - Great! but came back over confident and lost my bank within two weeks. Stopped - re charged my bank and started again - some wins but the losses always are always too great to sustain long term. I must have done this six/seven times over the four years, putting in £300 - £500 each time and buying the BA software, but failure upon failure - the short term pleasure of a small up trade followed by one or two poor selections, exit strategies that don't work and this weekend has drawn me to come to the above conclusion. MUG PUNTER AM I - It is no-one else's fault. It's all mine - 100%. I am not complaining.
The thing is, the good guys on here always make it look too easy and I sit at my PC thinking - I can do that - But I can't and I suspect most of the forum users are the same, but can't yet admit it.
Perhaps I don't have the self discipline, time, knowledge, understanding etc that everyone talks of needing. Perhaps, no I am sure, I think that I am better than I am - So I am a mug punter and I am out of Betfair /Betangel - for good. BF are £1500 better off but my stress relief is to STOP.
If you are losing too much and its causing you pain - perhaps you also need to stop - Do what I have dome and ask yourself - Is the pain really worth it?
Probably better to go the pub, a walk etc in the first place than waste you time and money at the computer.
Interesting post Mate09.
Perhaps you are being harsh on yourself though. Is it possible that it wasn't indiscipline that caused you to lose your bank, but a lack of an edge.
There is a lot to be said for perseverance and not being daunted by initial failures, but there is also something to be said for recognizing when you are throwing good money after bad, and asking if this is the best use of your time and money.
All the best with whatever you decide to do instead.
Jeff
Perhaps you are being harsh on yourself though. Is it possible that it wasn't indiscipline that caused you to lose your bank, but a lack of an edge.
There is a lot to be said for perseverance and not being daunted by initial failures, but there is also something to be said for recognizing when you are throwing good money after bad, and asking if this is the best use of your time and money.
All the best with whatever you decide to do instead.
Jeff
Hi mate09,
Sounds like your trying to make lots of money out of a small bank,
You talk of £300-£500 bank, i'v just started trading and still practising with very small stakes £30, with £500 i would be looking to make about £1 maybe £1.50 per hour of trading,
I think your over trading which leads to you taking risks i only make about 3-4 trades an hour, i also think your trying to trade out with a high number of ticks.
You say you make money then lose it, try and work out why you win over a period and then lose more later.
good luck
Sounds like your trying to make lots of money out of a small bank,
You talk of £300-£500 bank, i'v just started trading and still practising with very small stakes £30, with £500 i would be looking to make about £1 maybe £1.50 per hour of trading,
I think your over trading which leads to you taking risks i only make about 3-4 trades an hour, i also think your trying to trade out with a high number of ticks.
You say you make money then lose it, try and work out why you win over a period and then lose more later.
good luck
I suspect the post from mate09 is one many could relate to. I say that, because reading between the lines I have an idea where he's going wrong. When he has a green screen, everything is just fine and he's completely in control of himself. However, when he has a red screen his blood pumps faster and he's not in control of his next move - which sounds like he may be trading with bigger stakes to recoup the losses, or even worse than that...he's gambling, or leaving bad trades 'in play' to salvage a disappointing trade
I might be talking rubbish, but that's the picture he's painting
I might be talking rubbish, but that's the picture he's painting
mate09 says maybe he's a mug punter, so maybe your right letiss.
Made the mistake many times of letting a trade go in play and learned my lesson and im sure loads of other "traders" have done the same.
you need a plan - what your gonna win - what your gonna lose - and how your gonna trade.
Made the mistake many times of letting a trade go in play and learned my lesson and im sure loads of other "traders" have done the same.
you need a plan - what your gonna win - what your gonna lose - and how your gonna trade.
Yes mate09, I'm sure many people can relate to what you're saying. All up, in 3 years of trying to trade on Betfair, I've lost 10K.
I'm the national lottery winner of New Zealand. I made more money in 10 seconds of filling out a random lottery ticket than I ever did in 3 years of trying to trade on Betfair. What does that tell you?
Regarding my 10K net loss, even I , international playboy, rolling in dollars, have come under pressure sustaining losses of that magnitude! I shudder to think the damage that 'Betangel' and 'Betfair' have done to those who can't really afford to lose.
mate09, I'd say trading is one of the hardest things you can do, and not a good money spinner It's best regarded as a speculative hobby, just try to have fun with it and not spend too much time or money on it.
I'm the national lottery winner of New Zealand. I made more money in 10 seconds of filling out a random lottery ticket than I ever did in 3 years of trying to trade on Betfair. What does that tell you?
Regarding my 10K net loss, even I , international playboy, rolling in dollars, have come under pressure sustaining losses of that magnitude! I shudder to think the damage that 'Betangel' and 'Betfair' have done to those who can't really afford to lose.mate09, I'd say trading is one of the hardest things you can do, and not a good money spinner
It's best regarded as a speculative hobby, just try to have fun with it and not spend too much time or money on it.
On the mate09 subtopic:
The absolute key skill is discipline. This makes up more than half of any skill you need to trade successfully (IMHO). Let me explain my thinking a little more.
Would you agree that some trades are so obvious it's embarrassing? A very short price fav is boiling over at the start.Is this going to shorten in price? Of course not, there is little downside to a hefty lay here.
Last season Bale twisted his ankle badly in a live match. At the time he was winning every Spurs match on his own. It was obviously a very serious injury. What was the downside to Laying Spurs in either their next match or a top 4 finish? (As it happened the top 4 finish lay made 35% ROI in 6 mins)
These are obvious examples. They don't come along 25 times a day. But are very profitable when they do.
The issue is many are sucked into trading way above their ability. Very few have the skill and understanding to trade every single race/match effectively. So it's a case of 1 great trade and 3 bad ones. hence you lose overall.
Slow down, sit back and wait for your opportunity. For me I would sit there all day (as I have on occasions) and wait for the obvious. It's better to end the day with your bank intact or enhanced rather than lose because you are bored.
If you bet/trade for entertainment then don't complain if you lose. Know what you want from your "experience". Winning isn't difficult if you have patience and discipline.
This is easier said than done. Maintaining concentration for 6 hours to the required level is another key skill. The actual trading part is easy in comparison.
If you sit on the same spot on a beach and don't move. Sooner or later you will see a great pair of tits getting suntan lotion applied to them.
That's trading!
The absolute key skill is discipline. This makes up more than half of any skill you need to trade successfully (IMHO). Let me explain my thinking a little more.
Would you agree that some trades are so obvious it's embarrassing? A very short price fav is boiling over at the start.Is this going to shorten in price? Of course not, there is little downside to a hefty lay here.
Last season Bale twisted his ankle badly in a live match. At the time he was winning every Spurs match on his own. It was obviously a very serious injury. What was the downside to Laying Spurs in either their next match or a top 4 finish? (As it happened the top 4 finish lay made 35% ROI in 6 mins)
These are obvious examples. They don't come along 25 times a day. But are very profitable when they do.
The issue is many are sucked into trading way above their ability. Very few have the skill and understanding to trade every single race/match effectively. So it's a case of 1 great trade and 3 bad ones. hence you lose overall.
Slow down, sit back and wait for your opportunity. For me I would sit there all day (as I have on occasions) and wait for the obvious. It's better to end the day with your bank intact or enhanced rather than lose because you are bored.
If you bet/trade for entertainment then don't complain if you lose. Know what you want from your "experience". Winning isn't difficult if you have patience and discipline.
This is easier said than done. Maintaining concentration for 6 hours to the required level is another key skill. The actual trading part is easy in comparison.
If you sit on the same spot on a beach and don't move. Sooner or later you will see a great pair of tits getting suntan lotion applied to them.
That's trading!
marko236 wrote:
I think your over trading which leads to you taking risks i only make about 3-4 trades an hour, i also think your trying to trade out with a high number of tick
HI Mate09 i think we have all been there...and some of us are still there!mugsgame wrote: Slow down, sit back and wait for your opportunity. For me I would sit there all day (as I have on occasions) and wait for the obvious. It's better to end the day with your bank intact or enhanced rather than lose because you are bored.
Some great advice here so why not read and digest all this and slow right down. If you can green up sometimes then with practice you will be ok...It is so tempting to try and make loads but ther is no need if you can be consistant.