Where are all the jokes?

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sniffer66
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Just had an official complaint logged from an eBay customer, saying that the polo mallet I sold him was too short...


I told him to get off his high horse...
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Derek27
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Priti Patel, Suella Braverman and James Cleverly are all proof that sending migrants to Rwanda won't work. All three of them came back!
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Derek27
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Benny Hill's been elected president of Argentina!!

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Derek27
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Those lyrics are definitely wrong Spotify.
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Kai
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Derek27
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Tories new housing plan: Living in a house is a lifestyle choice...
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Derek27
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I was feeling suicidal over Christmas, so I phoned the Samaritans and they talked me out of it.

I'm flipping annoyed about it, I've sent a complaint to head office.
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jimibt
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Derek27 wrote: ↑
Thu Dec 28, 2023 12:14 pm
 [cut]

I'm flipping annoyed about it, I've sent a complaint to head office.
derek - have a great xmas (maybe consider removing the above out of good taste ;) ) - all the best for '24
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Kai
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jimibt wrote: ↑
Thu Dec 28, 2023 1:54 pm
Derek27 wrote: ↑
Thu Dec 28, 2023 12:14 pm
 [cut]

I'm flipping annoyed about it, I've sent a complaint to head office.
derek - have a great xmas (maybe consider removing the above out of good taste ;) ) - all the best for '24
I nearly said it myself :)

All the best lads :geek:
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Derek27
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It wasn't my joke, it was Jack Dee. :)

He also suggested pet shops should sell piano wire ... for people who go in there to buy a budgie for company. :lol:

It was 30 odd years ago though, don't think the gag would meet today's ethics. :)
Last edited by Derek27 on Thu Dec 28, 2023 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Archangel
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Location: Polo Lounge, Beverly Hills Hotel

Jimmy Hill walks into a bar.
The barman asks "Jimmy, why the long face?"
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Derek27
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Reform UK leader has described a Labour election victory as Starmergeddon. :lol:
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Kai
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SNL Xmas joke swap 👏 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NE_kbJQ8r8
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Derek27
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People wrongly convicted, imprisoned, bankrupt and awaiting compensation can now sleep at night, Sunak's on the case. :lol: :lol:
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sniffer66
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Derek27 wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 08, 2024 10:03 pm
 People wrongly convicted, imprisoned, bankrupt and awaiting compensation can now sleep at night, Sunak's on the case. :lol: :lol:
What is frustrating is that it took a TV documentary for them to take any action. I was listening to a series of programs on Radio 4 about it a year ago ! The worst miscarriage of justice in British history. They should have stepped in a long time ago.
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